Ekonatrophilia
by Nighttyger
Summary: "Lance just keeps saying that I should stay away from you 'cuz you're an NPC. That coming here is bad for me. He says you'll never break free. But I know you can. You're more than that." NPCs are no more than shells executing a program, so why does he seem so real? Based off of "Can You Hear Me, Silver? It's Me, Lyra" by Illusion of Insanity.


**An AN at the beginning? In _my_ fics? What is this madness?**

 **Well, there is a reason. A very important reason. And that is that this is based off of another author's work. (With permission, of course.) This fic is based off of _Can You Hear Me, Silver? It's Me, Lyra ,_ by the wonderful _Illusion of Insanity!_ I would highly recommend you go read that first. This won't make very much sense without it, which is perhaps rather ironic considering it's a prequel. **

**Illusion of Insanity requested this on my tumblr account (link on my profile) with the prompt "things you said at 1 AM".**

 **Anyway, I believe that is all. See ya next time!**

 **-End Message, Nighttyger**

* * *

"Hi, Silver."

The same words that I always said when I saw him.

Not that he minded – or if he did, he couldn't show it.

"Sorry to bother you. Lance is being bossy tonight. So I'll just stay here, if that's okay with you."

No answer. The way it had been for the past month. I came to visit him sometimes, but he always stood there glassy-eyed and said the same thing as always. And then he would just be silent, no matter what I did.

I laid down on the hard rock of the Dragon's Den in silence.

* * *

"Hi, Silver. It's Lance again. You don't mind if I stay here again, right?"

I wished he would say something, even if it was him kicking me out.

* * *

That was how the next few months passed.

And then Lance became more... insistent.

"Hi, Silver..." I took out my recently-bought sleeping bag and laid it out on the ground – not quite I front of him, but a bit off to the side. It was the clearest area on this dark shore he stood on.

"I've been coming a lot more lately, haven't I? I guess things can change pretty fast in a month." Some miniscule part of my brain told me off for bothering to talk to Silver. It wasn't as if I would get a reaction out of him anyways. But I didn't care. I just needed to talk. I couldn't exactly complain about Lance _to Lance,_ or to the Elite Four.

"Lance just keeps saying that I should stay away from you 'cuz you're an NPC. That coming here is bad for me. He says you'll never break free." I sighed. "But I know you can. You're more than that."

Suddenly, the silence I received in return was oppressive.

I stopped talking. There wasn't much point in talking to empty air, though I couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking such a thing.

* * *

The next time I came, I stared at the open water and wondered what it would be like to actually have him answer back. It had only been a few months, but it was already hard to remember any of the times we talked. I hadn't bothered with my usual greeting in a while; surely he had to recognize me beyond those words...?

"It's lonely, Silver. The only people who talk to me are Lance and the Elite Four, and all they talk about is League business and my 'bad habits'."

I sat there for some stretch of time. I didn't, couldn't keep track of how long, really. I reminisced on some of times I had met him during my journey, like the first time he had wondered about changing. That one had always stuck out. It was after that when he had started getting nicer, started being really nice to be around.

After some unknown amount of minutes, I started talking again.

"You were getting better... I know you're different. Lance says you aren't, but you have to be. You can always think during our battles... He's a hypocrite anyway. He was an NPC once too, and he broke free of his code! If he can do it, then you can. They're all hypocrites, him and the Elite Four. All they want is for me to be a good little Champion and guide everyone like a shepherd. Can't they see I don't want to do that?"

I paused for breath, and I suddenly realized how silly I sounded. Whining about Lance and the E4, but not doing a thing about it.

Hoping for some nigh-impossible event for entirely selfish reasons.

So I stayed quiet after that, and eventually I fell to sleep, staring up at the interminable cave ceiling.

* * *

I went back to "Hi" for a while. What else could I say? There was no point in whining.

* * *

About three months after I became Champion, I rushed in, my eyes stinging.

"Silver..." I choked out, desperately trying to keep the tears from slipping out of my eyes. "He... Lance... He said..." My breaths were heaving from the effort of trying not to break down. "He said that I... That I wasn't..." Finally, I could hold it back no longer, and the tears I had fought so hard to keep anyone from seeing slid down my face. When I spoke again, my sentences were punctuated with sobs.

"He said I wasn't fit to be... a PC! Because I keep... coming to see you! He said it was... unnatural!" Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around Silver and buried my face in the the too-stiff fabric of his jacket.

"I just want you to come back! You were mean at first but you got better and you were my friend! Not like Ethan and Professor Birch and Mom cuz they just always say the same things but you thought and changed and you were _real!_ "

I pulled away and looked into his metallic eyes, which stared off at the far wall, not even noticing me or how his shoulder was now damp. He blinked, and that one gesture that seemed like it should have meant so much but really didn't since he _was_ living, in the technical sense of the term, and his eyes _did_ need moisture – that small motion nearly caused me to lose it again. Instead of allowing that to happen, I looked down and fiddled with the jacket that he had always worn, as long as I had known him.

"Why doesn't he understand that...?" Surely he had felt the same way at some point...

My face went back to his shoulder, but I was calmer now. The scent of the Dragon's Den had soaked into his jacket after so long in one place, damp with a mineral sharpness, but there was still, somehow, the faint trace forest and field. It was a nostalgic scent, and it kept me crying, even after my sobs had faded away.

And he stayed as rigid as ever.

After what seemed like an eternity like that, I lifted my head. No more tears came, so I busied myself preparing my sleeping bag. Even then, I kept talking.

"I mean, I knew you were an NPC... 'Cuz at the lab you kept shoving me and saying the same thing. But..." Tonight, I laid my sleeping bag down in front of him rather than at my usual spot.

"You were still my friend."

* * *

"I know he means well, Silver," I said dragging my bag behind me, "but he just doesn't know." I looked up to my companion's (could I even call him that?) flaming hair with a sigh.

"He gets scary when he's mad. Though I don't know why he's mad. What am I supposed to do, anyway?"

* * *

"Do you remember what it was like?"

I posed my latest question while I stared up at the cave roof after another night of Lance trying and failing to convince me of my follies. Six months after I had gained the Champion title, it was just another fact of life, one almost as predictable as Silver's schedule. I didn't cry anymore; I just glared at Lance as he yelled and then retreated to the Dragon's Den.

At least, most of the time.

"You used to be a huge jerk. I think I hated you at first." I let out a bitter chuckle. "Seriously, you were horrible." I turned onto my side and began rooting around in my bag. It didn't take much poking around to find my bright red hairbrush. "First you pushed me around, then you left me raging after our first battle," I continued as I got up and walked behind Silver. I started brushing his hair. I wasn't sure which was redder, the brush or his hair.

"But we kept running into each other, and I notice that you changed. I mean, you got better at battling, but you learned. You got a bit friendlier. You stopped yelling at me every time we met, anyways. And you started treating your Pokémon better..." I sighed, running my fingers through his scarlet strands, which were surprisingly untangled, considering he probably never brushed it.

"Maybe I forgot you were an NPC."

I began to braid his hair .

"I've never met an NPC like you, Silver. I guess... You're just more PC than the actual PCs."

All at once, I was angry with myself. Just talking about him like that! Like he wasn't real! But even as I thought that, other thoughts ran through my mind – that he wasn't, that I was a fool for feeling so guilty about it. Then came the thought that I had no right to say that I- What, cared about him? About someone who couldn't even feel anything back? It felt like I was two different people, kicking and biting at my foreign self to try and edge them out. It wasn't a new feeling – this same fight had happened several nights lately. I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth, shaking my head, trying to dislodge _them_ , but it was as if the jostling only agitated them, and the arguments buzzed around my head like a thousand angry Beedril, only getting louder and more agonizing by the second.

Something in me snapped, and I screamed into the dark, slamming my fist into Silver's back.

I stood there for a moment, eyes tightly shut, breathing heavily. A moment passed, quiet and empty. Then I leaned my forehead into the back of his neck, feeling as if I would just dissolve and blow away.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, my voice muffled by his half-braided hair. "You don't need me screaming like that."

I stood there for a minute, letting the stillness and darkness of the cave sink into me. When I had finally calmed down, I unbraided Silver's hair and picked my hairbrush up off the floor of the Dragon's Den. I put in my bag, then settled into my sleeping bag for a night of exhausted but fitful sleep.

* * *

"You probably don't want me here after the way I acted last time. I know I haven't been here in a while. Sorry. I tried to stay away, 'cuz I though maybe then stuff like last time wouldn't happen.

But I still keep thinking about you."

* * *

It had been a year.

A year since I received the Arceus-forsaken title of Champion.

The League had thrown an anniversary banquet. I had snuck out after the meal. I hadn't washed off my makeup or changed out of the blouse, skirt, and stockings I had worn to it. I wasn't going to risk losing my one chance to get away.

"Hey, Silver," I greeted, my voice soft. "I had to come see you. Don't worry, Lance sn't giving me problems. They're all being nice today. But that's 'cuz it's the one-year anniversary of my championship. That's why I came... Sorta. I mean, it was a year ago that you came here, too." I smiled at him. "So I thought I'd come visit you."

I sat down.

"What do you think we should talk about? Oh, how about our journeys? I don't know a ton about yours, but I'm sure it's the same for you, so I'll tell you about mine, okay?" I thought for a moment on what to say, then nodded.

"So, when I met you. You were a jerk. I think I had quite a few bruises that night from how many times you pushed me." I grimaced at the thought. "But you were a good battler, I'll give you that. Still are," I added, glancing at his Typhlosion standing nearby, just as still as his Trainer. Then I frowned – the arguing was coming back. I quickly shook my head and continued, desperate not to repeat _that_.

"Anyway... Uh, next would've been the Slowpoke Well, right? Man, you were angry. I thought you were just gonna barrel in there and try to take them all on!" I chuckled. "You were always pretty rash."

"You were so surprised when you heard I took them out. Couldn't believe it. Not some 'weakling' like me. I looked up at his unfocused eyes with a thoughtful expression. "I wonder what your deal with that is. Something happened to you, I guess... I always wanted to find out. Maybe I could help you." Then I shook my head with a small smile. "You did a pretty good job of that yourself, though. After, what was it, Mahogany, you started getting better with that. That and your relationship with your Pokémon. Seeing you with Crobat for the first time was amazing." I closed my eyes and smiled, remembering how that moment had been and the contentment that graced Silver's face. The memory brought a fluttery warmth to my chest.

"We were all so happy that time. Even you." I opened my eyes and looked back up at him. "I can't bring myself to believe that you weren't feeling anything. You being... dead... empty inside..." I frowned. "There's no way. You've always been so..."

I struggled to find a word that matched.

"There was always something there. You were never empty." I stood up from the boulder I had been sitting on and walked over, stopping in front of him.

"You were never like this." I took his hand, which was just little too cold. Despite that, the action still elicited a little fluttering in my stomach, but I ignored the feeling.

"You're angry a lot of the time, and I wish you weren't, I wish I knew why. And you're kinda cold and sarcastic, but I think that's just how you act to strangers because you're actually decent to me. Still sarcastic, but you're actually kinda nice. You never actually go out of your way to hurt anyone. And you really care about your Pokémon. You keep trying to make yourself better, you keep trying to make yourself stronger in so many ways... You're really... You're really my friend." Though there were tears in my eyes making my vision blurry, I could still make out him and his piercing metallic eyes.

Just standing, staring. Unhearing, unseeing.

Flutter, flutter.

Crying.

"I wish this hadn't happened to you! I want to talk to you and actually _hear you answer!_ I wish that I could learn more about you! I just want you to be _here_ and not... empty!" I clutched at his shoulders, his jacket.

"Does that make me selfish, Silver!?"

My head crashed onto his shoulder, and I started sobbing, the déjà vu making me sick to my stomach. Sick and fluttery, all at once.

"Dammit, Silver..." I wrapped my arms around him.

"Why did I have to fall in love with you?"


End file.
